


Jaime and Brienne Try Parenting

by BananaChef



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: ??????, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Brienne of Tarth is the Best, Children of Characters, F/M, Ficlets, How Do I Tag, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired By Tumblr, Kid Fic, Not In Chronological Order, Parenthood, Pregnancy, Soft Jaime Lannister, how many kids do they have, i love the Lannister-Tarth family okay, i love them your honor, the more the merrier ten it is, they’re so soft it’s ridiculous, two or six or seven or ten????
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:41:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BananaChef/pseuds/BananaChef
Summary: A collection of ficlets centered on JB being parents.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 41
Kudos: 96





	1. Are They Asleep?

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [these](https://one-shot-prompts.tumblr.com/post/617810694990069760) prompts from Tumblr.

Jaime quietly makes his way to the nursery, stopping once he reaches the doorway. He hates his long hours away from home, but all thoughts of work vanish as soon as he sees Brienne singing Joanna to sleep. It’s such a simple thing, yet it always makes him emotional.

Galladon’s already asleep in his bassinet, Jaime observes as his wife goes to put Joanna in bed. He smiles and walks inside the kids’ bedroom, taking care not to wake them up. He stops at his son’s bassinet first, brushing his thumb over Galladon’s bright blonde tufts of hair before putting down the side of the crib to press the lightest of kisses to his head.

Brienne looks up from where she’s sitting on the edge of Joanna’s bed and smiles gesturing with her head for him to come over. Jaime puts the side of the bassinet up and walks over to his wife and daughter, sitting on the edge of the bed before leaning over to press a kiss on Joanna’s forehead. Brienne does the same before the two parents stand up and cover their daughter with the comforter together.

Jaime sighs contentedly, taking Brienne’s hand in his own. “Sorry I missed dinner again,” he says softly once they close the door. “No one at work seems to be competent so Tyrion and I are left with all the work.”

She sighs, leading him into their bedroom before stripping down to her underclothes and slipping on one of his shirts. “You’re here now. And you don’t go in on the weekends. You care about the company’s employees. I can’t fault you for that.”

He loosens his tie and tosses it in one of the laundry hampers before stripping to his underwear. “You’re too kind to me, wench,” Jaime tells her, stepping close to Brienne and standing on his toes to kiss her. “Are they asleep?” he whispers against her lips as he slips his hand under her shirt.

She pulls away enough to see his face as she wraps her arms over his shoulders, arching her eyebrow.

“Are you _sure_ they’re asleep?” Jaime emphasizes, pressing a line of kisses along her jawline to her neck.

“Mhm. Sacked out. We should have at least an hour to ourselves...” Brienne smirks, closing her eyes as she brings her hands to his hair.

“Good.”


	2. Make Sure You Baby-Proofed Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’ve seen my tweets you know that I had a breakdown over how soft Jaime is in this part

“Okay, and you baby-proofed everything? Make sure you baby-proofed everything or Brienne’ll go off on you.”

Tyrion laughs, the sound distorted from Jaime’s phone. “Don’t worry! Tysha and I spent all of last night baby-proofing all the hard edges and hiding all of our dangerous objects. We can handle a couple kids for a day. Tell Brienne that the kids will be fine—we’ve babysat them before!”

Jaime sighs with a smile, letting some of the tension out of his body. _Everything is going to be fine,_ he thinks. _The kids will be fine. Brienne and I will be fine and relax. Everything will happen just as it’s supposed—_

“Jaime! I need your help!”

 _Seven hells._ “Gotta go. Brienne’s calling for me.”

“See you later, Jaime.”

“Yeah. See you.” He hangs up and shoves his phone in the back pocket of his jeans. “Coming, love!” he yells up the stairs to Brienne as he climbs them.

He enters their bedroom to a slew of swears and the sight of his heavily pregnant wife. “Why’d you have to make it twins?” she grumbles to him, clasping her hands over his after Jaime hugs her from behind.

“Didn’t do it on purpose,” he laughs, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. He can sense her smile as she leans against him. “It was you, too, you know. I only did half the work.”

“I’m expecting you to pull out all the stops on this date. Movie, dinner, a walk through the park...”

Jaime grins, stroking her swollen abdomen with infinite delicacy. “You can’t trick me into telling you where we’re going, Brienne.”

“Well, I tried.” She sighs and moves away from him. “Okay, I actually need your help, though. I don’t know which outfit to wear. The blouse and pants or the dress?”

“I don’t know why you’re asking me for fashion advice...” he trails off with a laugh as she smacks him gently on the arm, “but I’d go with the dress. It takes less time to get off.”

Jaime leaves the implication hanging in the air as he presses a kiss to her forehead. “Dress it is,” Brienne says, leaning into his contact.

He smiles and goes back downstairs to where Joanna and Galladon are playing together in the family room. Their daughter leaps up from her seat on the floor and runs over to Jaime, grabbing his hand as she leads him to her and Galladon’s doll game.

“Gal and I are playing house with the dolls! You can be the maid!”

“I’d love to play with you, Jo, but...” he starts, picking her up to hold her close, “you two get to spend the night with Uncle Tyrion and Aunt Tysha!”

Galladon looks up at the mention of his aunt and uncle, dropping his doll to the ground. “Yay! I want to play hide n seek!”

“What do you say, Jo? A night with your aunt and uncle?” Jaime shifts her in his arms as she hugs him with a melancholy sigh. “Mummy and I just need some time for ourselves tonight. Like when you need some time away from Mummy, Gal, and I every once in a while.”

“You’ll come for breakfast like last time?” she asks, pulling away to look him in the eyes.

“Of course, baby! I promise to give you a squeezy hug as soon as we get there!” Both of them grinned as Jaime ruffled Jo’s hair before setting her on the ground. “Go pack your bag, now. Gal, go with your sister.”

He pouted, crossing his arms, as Jo scrambled up the stairs. “I want a hug, too...”

Jaime laughed, crouching down and opening his arms. “Come here, then. I’ll give you a piggyback ride to your room.”

Gal smiles and runs over to his dad, jumping into his arms. After they hug, the young child clambers onto Jaime’s back, laughing as his dad carries him up the stairs.


	3. I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

“I have _no_ idea what I’m doing,” Jaime laughed nervously, running his hand through his golden hair.

 _“DAD!”_ Joanna yelled, gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her hands turned a sickly shade of white.

“Jo, relax your hands.” She did as she was told, not taking her eyes off the road. “I learned how to drive with two hands, so I haven’t really driven a car in a long time.”

“Then why do you still have your license? Did you even learn to drive again?” He chose not to answer, taking out his phone instead. “Dad, what are you doing? You have to help me, you know I’ve never driven a car before!”

“I’m right here, there’s no need to yell!” Jaime reprimanded pointing the camera of his phone at his eldest child. “Just lightly press on the gas pedal to get a feel for it. I’m right here, with limited experience at driving, but still—I know how to use a gas pedal.”

Jo took a deep breath and let it out, looking at the road as her father filmed her. “But what if there’s another car…”

“Smile for the camera, Jo! This is going on WhiteBook so everyone can see your first driving experience!”

“No...” she moaned, “This is so stupid, I’m going to fucking die from anxiety.”

“Jo! Don’t swear on camera.”

“Then turn it off!”

* * *

The front door slammed open and then closed, someone stomping into the kitchen. “Dad almost got us in a car accident!”

“I did not!”

“Did too!” Joanna turned to her mother, eyebrows furrowed and nostrils flaring. “Mom, he tried to distract me by filming me. If I hadn’t been concentrating, we would have been _dead!_ ”

“Jo, please. I was just trying to capture an important moment in your life!” Jaime attempted to assuage his daughter with puppy eyes.

“Videotaping an event is not more important than my mental health and our lives, Dad!”

Brienne sighed heavily and put her hands on her hips as the two continued arguing. “Oh, would the two of you just stop shouting?!” Jo and Jaime stopped, looking over at her. “I’ll take you driving from now on and your father can make sure the rest of your siblings don’t set the house on fire. Deal?”

Joanna murmured her assent before trudging upstairs to her room. Brienne turned to Jaime, crossing her arms; her husband had the decency to at least look ashamed. “Do you _have_ to goad her?”

“Actually, I do. I am obligated to bother my children, it’s in the contract I signed as a father.” Jaime looked up from the ground to grin at his wife, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. His golden hair streaked with silver looked extremely soft and had a windswept look to it.

Brienne bit her lip and walked over to him, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips. “It’s a good thing you’re so cute or I might have made you sleep on the couch as punishment.”

He laced his fingers together at the small of her back as her arms looped over his shoulders. Jaime opened his mouth to speak, but a yelp came from the toy room. He let his forehead fall onto her shoulder. “I’ll see what it is. Love you.”

“Love you too, husband.” Brienne gave him a small smile and watched him as he walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a gwen reference ahhh ksjfh


	4. Why Are They Crying!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all of your patience as i pants my way through all the fics in my google drive jkhdfdjs

“Why are they crying!? Joanna!?”

“I didn’t do anything, Mum! I swear!”

“Galladon?”

“It wasn’t me either! Jo and I don’t know what happened! Suddenly they just started crying!”

Brienne rounded on her husband, who suddenly looked like a deer in headlights. “Jaime?”

“Yes, wench?” he responded, swallowing audibly as Jo and Gal watched the showdown.

“Why are the twins crying? And,  _ no, _ they’re not hungry, or in need of changing,  _ or _ willing to sleep, so I know  _ someone _ did something.”

Jaime cleared his throat. “I may have been watching something scary on the T.V. when they came in...”

Brienne sighed heavily, rubbing her face with her hands. “I told you not to watch your horror movies unless the kids are asleep!”

“I thought they were!” he whined, sticking out his bottom lip; his wife let out a sound between a groan and a sigh. “I told Gal and Jo not to come in the room—and you know they actually listen to shit like that—and last I checked you’d put the twins down for a nap!”

“They’re not  _ babies, _ Jaime! They have their own beds! That they can leave! Whenever they want to!”

“Okay, but are you sure? Because they still  _ look _ really small, okay, and they can’t really speak yet!”

“Oh my gods.” Brienne pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing heavily. “Why don’t you two go play?” she suggested to Joanna and Galladon, who promptly escaped to the toy room. “Daddy and I need to have a talk.”

“They’re so tiny, though...” Jaime defended weakly, gesturing with his hand at the twins’ height.

“They’re two, Jaime. Almost three. And they  _ can _ speak. Sort of. They’re not newborns anymore, they don’t sleep like they used to. Though gods know how we got them to sleep that much in the first place.” Brienne rubbed her face, irritated at being woken up from her mid-afternoon nap. “Well, they’re your responsibility right now, Jaime. Go fix this.”

* * *

An hour later, Jaime crawled into bed, curving his body to fit against Brienne’s back. “I know you’re awake, sweetling.” He huffed out a laugh and nuzzled her neck, making her wriggle away with a squeak.

“I’m trying to sleep. Don’t tickle me.”

“But I need to know how to make it up to you!”

“Let me sleep,” Brienne whined, snuggling into the bed.

Jaime wrapped an arm around her abdomen, walking his fingers downwards. “Are you  _ sure _ I can’t make it up to you...?”

She sighed and rolled over, her annoyance tempered by her loving smile. “At this rate, it’s going to be triplets this time,” she replied, pressing a kiss to his lips.

He laughed into the connection before furrowing his brows in confusion. “‘This time’? Are you...?”

Brienne groaned, her forehead coming to rest on his chest for a moment, along with her hand. “Damn.” She looked up, a small, apologetic smile on her lips. “I was trying to wait for your birthday! I almost made it, too. One of your gifts is an ultrasound picture.” She took one of his hands and placed it over her abdomen. “Only one cub this time around.”

Jaime kissed her, his thumb stroking the skin by her navel, before ducking down. “Hey, new bean. Just want to say that you’re the best early birthday present ever. Your mom’s amazing, by the way. She’s great and I love her a lot, and you will, too.” He pushed up Brienne’s shirt to press a kiss to her stomach, intertwining his free hand with one of hers.


End file.
